so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
