the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
