every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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