happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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