in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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