I wanna passion pit in your ass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
