I am puke
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
