Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
