I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
