Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
