let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
