Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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