You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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