I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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