I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
