he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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