Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
