clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
