sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
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I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize