i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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