as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
