you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
