just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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