Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize