Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
