you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
