R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Your penis caused this!
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