I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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