i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
