his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
God, I missed his penis.
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