Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in

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  (917): this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in http://tfl.nu/into
  Replies (4) Good night (944) Bad night (1988)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

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  (903): Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything. http://tfl.nu/euxa
  Replies (9) Good night (5460) Bad night (676)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.

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  (908): it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season. http://tfl.nu/4nsl
  Replies (23) Good night (1569) Bad night (3892)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.

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  (636): A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it. http://tfl.nu/t9xf
  Replies (31) Good night (20396) Bad night (1585)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas

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  (208): Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas http://tfl.nu/3mqp
  Replies (7) Good night (4112) Bad night (858)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (4019) Bad night (1038)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.

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  (817): I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started. http://tfl.nu/bmag
  Replies (24) Good night (3405) Bad night (1085)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.

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  (513): Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette. http://tfl.nu/g7cy
  Replies (2) Good night (1398) Bad night (625)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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  (720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (675)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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  (843): New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard. (321): Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman? http://tfl.nu/4ln7
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (1743)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (1037) Bad night (467)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

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  (512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u
  Replies (2) Good night (1002) Bad night (486)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".

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  (613): You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast". http://tfl.nu/iqmw
  Replies (12) Good night (2528) Bad night (647)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (333)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

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  (504): Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~ http://tfl.nu/nmyu
  Replies (5) Good night (428) Bad night (646)

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