This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
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Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.