OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.