Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction