Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy
  Replies (46) Good night (951) Bad night (5830)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college. http://tfl.nu/9iax
  Replies (25) Good night (7321) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He had some in his pocket. That was weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon. (937): He had some in his pocket. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/q8lw
  Replies (27) Good night (1138) Bad night (5250)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (4308) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (5823) Bad night (1726)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha. http://tfl.nu/8fn5
  Replies (7) Good night (2293) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): When are you not under some influence? (917): Since last Tuesday...yesterday. http://tfl.nu/zuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (1598) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes http://tfl.nu/krda
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now. http://tfl.nu/iew9
  Replies (1) Good night (1413) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load http://tfl.nu/2y1d
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER . http://tfl.nu/8mid
  Replies (8) Good night (586) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): 90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here. http://tfl.nu/6qce
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great http://tfl.nu/433o
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather. http://tfl.nu/p43l
  Replies (0) Good night (521) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude http://tfl.nu/rvv3
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (209)

Randomize