Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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