I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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