with your own penis?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
