We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize