You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
