She's JV to your varsity
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
