we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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