No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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