He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
