Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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