I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
