You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
