If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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