What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
