elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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