Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
