does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
