I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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