Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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