she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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