Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
