the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
