do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
