that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My hand turned me down
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
