I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize