...so i touched it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize