Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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