his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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