Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
