My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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