I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize